I’ve always had a hard time articulating what I wanted to say. I’ve never been great with words, so I leaned into trying to express myself through visual art. I’ve been drawing ever since I can remember, and no matter how long a break I took in between drawing sessions, I always went back to it. I never worked on it long enough to really improve my skills, or even really learned about different techniques or how to find my style.

The older I got, the harder my feeling were to articulate. I journaled some, but I didn’t study or practice my writing to make that better either. I became distracted by breakups, multiple moves, job losses, and the constant feeling of imposter syndrome when I did try to make art. Everything I tried I wanted to make a business, so naturally nothing fully worked out since I was trying to fast track a creative career. If I liked to make something I tried to make money at it. I really wanted to make money as an illustrator, but I always felt that I couldn’t be good enough. I started drinking more and more in my early to mid thirties, and started getting more and more depressed about all the time that I was telling myself I wasted. I wasn’t listening to myself and what I truly wanted to do with my life.

I quit drinking in June of 2023, so at the time of this writing, I have been sober for just over a year. Since getting sober, I’ve been really interested in the psychology of colors and how people reacted to different images without context. I hate titling my work. I want to express myself with images, color and texture and let the observer make there own conclusions as to what it means. without the distractions of drinking, I’m forced to deal with my emotions, and that drastically has changed the way I feel about making art. It makes me use my highly sensitive qualities for good.

Getting sober has helped me learn about myself and helping me make the art I truly feel represents my emotions in real time. thoughts and feeling change daily, and no two people are going to feel the exact same way at the same time. Don’t ask me what my art means, because I’m not going to know :) My art now represents how I’m feeling at the time of when I make it. I really love drawing plants, flowers and skulls. I also love watching horror movies. If it’s scary I’m into it, so you might not know what you are gonna get :) I might not ever make a full time living from my art, but at least what I’m making is true to me and not just for the sake of trend or money. I’m still learning how to fully express myself in art form, but that’s the journey right?

How Sobriety Changed My Art

July Review- No Social Media and Outside Time

June 2024 Review-A Month of Reflection